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Tuesday, February 5, 2019

The Most Difficult Post I've Ever Written

Do you have a hard time sharing deeply personal things about yourself, or for asking for help when you really and truly need it? ME TOO!

The other day a Facebook friend from high school asked for prayer for her sick baby granddaughter. I told her I would pray and I followed closely on her progress. When that little one got to go home I was so happy and relieved for her family. 

I remember thinking what a privilege it was to share in their lives at such an intimate time, and to be able to pray for them, actually an honor, a privilege to pray for one of Gods children. I didn't need to know details because my God knew the story from beginning to end. All I needed to know is someone I cared about was asking for prayer.

I'm realizing I need to ask for prayer, even if it feels uncomfortable for me. How can God be glorified if I don't allow people, praying people, to pray for me. 

Now, first you must know that I truly believe in prayer, however that does not mean that I believe whatever I pray for I will get because God's plan goes beyond my wants. He is sovereign, omnipotent and I am required to trust and believe in him no matter what the outcome is. He does promise he will get me THROUGH whatever I am experiencing and will be with me.

I'm becoming more and more aware that sometimes  my privacy issues are not a good thing. This is something I struggle with. How do I share certain things or ask for prayer without letting it all out. 

Right now Dougie and I are going through the most horrific experience in our lives and I am asking for your prayers.

In July of this year my beautiful Dougie was diagnosed with Liver cancer. It is terminal and he will die from this. When?, only God knows.

 I will say this, this horrible, heinous disease is taking my Dougie away from me. My heart is broken beyond belief. I have never felt such pain, a pain in a part of my body that I never knew was there. A part of me that is so deep within it cuts to my core.

Our story has many layers and details, none of which are necessary to share at this time, because God knows our needs, and if you are believer in prayer then you know the fact that we are asking for your sacred, heartfelt prayers is all that needs to be said at this time.

This was such a difficult thing for me to post and I have prayed about the timing of when I would share what has been going on over the last 7 months. I truly feel that today was the day I needed to share and to ask you all for prayers for my beautiful blue eyed boy, Dougie.

                      Isaiah 41:13
For I the LORD your God will hold your right hand, saying to you, Fear not; I will help you.