Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Perspective On AGING!!



Aging is something that we all do from the moment we are born.

I am a firm believer that there is a big difference between aging and getting old.

Aging is a natural process that takes place through out our lives. Getting old, on the other hand, is a frame of mind. It takes place in our minds.

I for one don’t mind aging but I refuse to become old in my thinking.

Unfortunately, in our society we worship youth and all it has to offer. We seem to look through the older generation almost as if they no longer matter or have anything to offer.

It is almost as if the older generation fades into the background until they are no longer noticed or in some cases, actually no longer here.


I find this terribly sad. Partly because I am a part of the older generation, but mostly because I have learned so much from the older and wiser people in my life. They have so many stories to tell and so much wisdom that they can give us.

We just need to stop and realize that we are all aging and someday we will all be a part of the older generation. After all, a forty year old is considered older to a twenty year old. A teen ager is looked up to as so much older to a five year old. See how it works? We are surrounded by older and wiser people no matter what generation we are in.


Next time you see an older person, don’t look through them as if they don’t matter, or as if they are invisible. Look in their eyes, greet  them and listen to what they have to say. Maybe just maybe you will hear something that will help you out as you age like the rest of us.

“Enjoy The Process!” Of:

Learning from someone that is older and wiser!

Kathysue

43 comments:

The enchanted home said...

What a beautiful message Kathysue!! So so true, I think its easy to get seduced by youth, the energy that goes along with it, beauty, the eternal quest to look young forever,etc...yet it is those that are older than us who are far more wiser and have the wisdom that we can learn so much from..
I firmly believe age is just a number and totally a state of mind. I am 46 but feel 30 (well most days that is) I am forever, I hope young at heart....and really believe if you think young you will stay young.

Hamptontoes said...

Kathysue,
That was so moving. I hope that no one made you feel invisible, because my dear blogging buddy you are quite visible in my eyes! I love your blog and your thoughts. I believe our society does worship youth and to a detriment. With two little kids that are growing. I see time that goes fast, very fast. I truly love chatting with people of all ages. I believe that looking at the world through the eyes of my children keeps me young and continually reminds me that the little things matter in life. I believe that listening to anyone older than me is a sign of wisdom, being old enough to know that I don't know everything and being old enough to appreciate learning a new perspective or understanding something from another mindset. Life is short, regardless of one's age. We all need to enjoy ourselves and one another. And, Kathysue...you are wonderful! I love your heart.

L.Duncan said...

Kathysue this post is one I'm bookmarking! I ALWAYS enjoy the company of older women and men. I think this came after the passing of my grandmother. I took her time here on earth for granted. I felt like she would always be with me and as a teen, the time I use to spend with her became less and less. I was consumed with being a teenager. When she passed ( I was 19), I was devastated. Since then, no matter who the older person is, I give them as much of my time as they want! I enjoy talking with them, hearing them laugh, and listen to the old stories they tell. My husbands grandmother is 96 and she lives with my inlaws. Everyone knows she isn't in here right mind completely, but because she talks, I listen. Because she laughs, I join in. Because she asks, u give.

Now, with the non elderly older people, like yourself and Janell, I enjoy the wisdom that you share with me. Their have been so many times where I've been in a funk and called one of my friends and by the time we finish talking, I'm worse off than before I made the call. When I talk to Janell, she gives me the been there done that talk that I need that reminds me that its just a small bump in the road. When I hear you say "enjoy your boys while they're little", I smile at that reminder. I appreciate that. I dont get words like that from my younger friends.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I think I may start to make less sense! Love this post and you are right!

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

I love this, Kathysue!

helen tilston said...

Hi Kathysue

I have always had role models who were older. I love the wisdom they can impart and only recently I was saying I wish my father in law was still around so I could ask him questions on aging. I find some friends of a certain age now live a world which is small, minute and one appointment a day is their limit. In other words they seem to be withdrawing, which may be a result of them feeling invisible, as you say.
My best
Helen xx

Carla@DesignintheWoods said...

Great post Kathysue. Food for thought!

Carol@SofasandSage.com said...

Hi Kathysue. Whatever prompted your post today, it is a great message. I read L. Duncan 's comment and it was so similar to my experience with my grandmother. What I wouldn't give to have her wise advice now in my late 40's. Some fear older folks, I think. I've always felt at ease with older folks. There is always something to learn. I do wish, too, that our society wasnt so youth obssessed. We all suffer because of it.

Stacy Curran said...

Hi Kathysue,
I loved this post, and cherished every word. I am soooooo old to my ten year old, but my parents still think of me as a kid. You are so right...it is all relative and more a state of mind than anything. I know I feel 25, until I look in the mirror. But even then, I've come to sort of like my smile lines.
Xo Stacy

Sally@DivineDistractions said...

I wish I had all the days back when I thought my parents and grandparents were "too old". I have so many questions now and the appreciation to listen. Guess that's why they say that youth is wasted on the young. Sweet post KS!

Rhoda @ Southern Hospitality said...

Wonderful, Kathysue! I know I have been guilty of looking past older people too,but I realize that we are all on that track and I'll be there one day too. Now that I'm living with my parents again, I have a new found appreciation for their age & wisdom which I used to take for granted. I see years of smart thinking in both of them & cherish the time I have with them even more now that time is slipped away. I love listening to the old stories they tell when my relatives get together and reminensce. good times! xoxo

Anonymous said...

This has not been a very good day for me because I have more than one thing bothering me that is age-related. I was on the brink of having my own personal pity party until I read your post. Thanks -- I really needed that.

vignette design said...

You hit the nail on the head. There will always be someone older and younger than us, just like there will always be someone richer and prettier, etc.
It's one thing to grow old, it's another to wallow in it.
I refuse to think like an old person. The trick is to stay open to new ideas, new technologies, and the new world that is ever changing at a very fast rate. It takes a lot of energy! But I'm going to keep trying!

Blondie's Journal said...

Very well put, Kathysue. I have often thought, when I see an elderly person...please let me live that long.

XO,
Jane

Marcus Design said...

Wow this was such a fantastic and wonderful post! How thoughtful, I agree that we must respect those older than us, there is so much wisdom to be had! And I hope I can positively influence those younger than me. I have to agree with you that we are aging but do not have to become 'old' and 'irrelevant' as our culture often leads us to believe. You put it so well Kathysue!
Nancy xo

Cathy Wall said...

Such great wisdom Kathy Sue. What I love about the process is the feeling of confidence that comes with aging, been there, done that and now get it, won't make the same mistakes, will try things differently, etc. While my parents are no longer with me, I have wonderful role models in my mother and father in-law and cherish every day that I get to spend with them. They truly inspire me in so many ways!
Thanks for making us all think about this!

Cathy @ Room Rx

Something Nice and Pretty said...

Great post...when I turned 60 this year I woke up in Jamacia so the day was just wonderful, had I been home I'd probably had a pity party for myself, anyway I promised myself that morning that I'd never grow old in my thinking. I figured I'm older yes, but wiser and that wisdom will only help me, I also gave thanks to Him for letting me reach this age as alot haven't been that blessed!

Debby said...

That last image is just beautiful. It is sad in todays society how many of the old are just forgotten. I think that the elderly are the most interesting people out there. They tell the best stories and always give the best advice... they are wise because they have experienced so much. xo

Mary Ellen said...

Great Post Kathysue. I have always enjoyed the company of older woman, even when I was a child. The wisdom, the stories they can tell...so much to give. Now that I am 50 I am realizing that I am that older woman but you are so right about the younger generation not seeing us. I don't think it is older people only. I think they are so into their selves that no one but them and a few friends matter- you see that in the way our society has transformed to a very selfish one- no one thinks of the other person anymore.

bee blessed
mary

Luciane at HomeBunch.com said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. I know so well what you're saying.

I was raised by my grandparents in Brazil and they are the most amazing people I've met in this life. I learned so much with them and I still do. My grandpa is almost 92 and my grandma is almost 85. They're the strongest and wiser people in my life and I never did and never will take them for granted. Being raised by older people made me appreciate life even more and respect them more even more.

I agree with you 100% about the difference of aging and getting old. This is the secret to have a young soul no matter how old you are.

My grandma is having some health problems and it concerns me so much. The thing is, I keep learning with her and I just wish that all of us had an older person in our lives that can guide us throughout life as she does to me. I think life seems to be more real when we open our eyes to appreciate the wisdom of the people that has been here longer than we have.


Thank you for this post... one of the most important I've read by far.


xo

Luciane at HomeBunch.com

Linda in AZ * said...

*** Dearest KS~~ You've TRULY tugged at my heartstrings here... (I'll have to "cut back" on my TOO-MANY comments!!!

*** When going out, say, for Sunday Brunch to a nice place, and we see an very elderly person "all dressed up", with all her family, walking ever-so-slowly so as not to use lose his or her balance... and I see that person's grandchildren's doting & loving patience for their "Gwama", as they skip around her, simply celebrating the beautiful innocence of a sunny day (and the lines of people, if there are any lines, that have CHILDREN in them too, of course!) after church, I can't help but smile... and often times get a bit choked up... my heart is soooo touched~ it's ALREADY so FULL BEFORE we dine! I so appreciated getting to just share a moment of that all........

*** When I'm out shopping with girlfriends (or if out to dinner w/ our husbands), and I see a lovely elderly woman "all dressed up looking pretty "spiffy" & OBVIOUSLY feeling very proud of how she looks, annnnnd, is obviously SO VERRRY HAPPY to be out & "doing the girly shopping thing" with her grown daughters, etc., & they're just laaaaaughing & having so much fun, DESPITE her aches & pains, I almost ALWAYS stop her, usually just smiling at who is with her & genly, very gently touching her arm, to tell "Grama" how PRETTY she looks in the dress or color or jewely or "whatever"... or, sometimes I get REEEALLY choked up (I lost my Mom when she was 52~~~ she was my best friend, besides my husband), I just give them a knowing, loving smile at them & I'll laughing say "Oh, girrrrls!!! I MISS M*Y best friend TOO, just seeing YOU TWO having so much fun TOGETHER!"... (And believe it or not, we've sometimes talked so long at Poettery Barn that we got next door to chat a little more & have coffee (n' cake if we're feeling "naughtly!). At the end, I always treat, explaing that it WAS such a treat me for me to spend some time with a mother & daughter who are obviously very close & whose companyh I sooo enjoyed!)... Wellllll, I don't know WHO "feels better" for that delightfujl 1/2 hour or so we shared, but it sure is an UPPER (and for mannny hours) for ME!!!

Taking the time to encourage storytelling of days past, and to see their eyes light up because SOMEONE thinks they have something worth saying, then listening AND looking them in the eye when doing so, welll....... YET ANOTHER DAY MAKER for me!!!

"I'm gettin' there", I guess!!!..... I had a a birthday last month & all I could think of was "I REALLY A*M TOO YOUNG TO BE T*H*I*S OLD!!!"~~~~~~ I guess youth really IS sort of "wasted on the young!" as we all USED to jokingly say. But, there's a bit of truth to that, which we all need toactujally D*O realize.

***But if we're lucky, really lucky, we LEARNED at least ENOUGH from our parents & other elders that getting older... or old... is not a CURSE, it's an honor. "A big one"...

And you , my dear, are soooo sweet~~~ thank can't be faked, & that's why I love so much to come visit you here!!! I DO apologise for this being so long, Ks... (and I actually SHORTENED IT, too!!!)... (That's what 3 ACTUAL, TRULY "CAFFEINATED COFFEES" can DO to me! Grins~!)...

Fondly,
Linda in AZ *
bellesmom1234@comcast.net

Jessie said...

I love this post! It's true that our society worships youth for their energy and beauty. However, I have always appreciate the older generation and would always listen to their stories, advice, or whatever they have to say. I think they have so much wisdom and experiences that the younger generation can learn/ benefit from.

Kathysue, great post. This is a great message to the younger generation out there! :)

Have a great week!

Jessie
www.mixandchic.com

An Eye for Detail said...

One of the very best things for me, as I age, is what comes with ALL that experience. I feel so much surer of myself and my place in the world. I'm not afraid to speak up or out or to maybe...be different!
Aging, if done well, is an enormous gift!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the reminder....your words are beautiful!

Upscale Downhome said...

I agree completely with your comments on aging vs. getting old. I will forever be 25 in my joy for life even if I don't look like it anymore! You are right that we have so much wisdom to learn from those older than us. Our culture does not revere the old like in other cultures. I am thankful for those people in my life. Thanks for this post--great perspective!

Karen@StrictlySimpleStyle said...

When my grandmother turned 80 I threw a big party and invited all of her friends and family. The highlight of the evening was watching a video that my sister's family sent with their birthday wishes. I'll never forget what my niece, 18 years old at the time, said. She said, "Grandma, you're still hot. I'm not even afraid to get old because of you." It made us all laugh because it was true. My grandma always stayed current, took care of herself and never left the house without full hair and makeup. Everyone in that room felt the same way.

I mention this story because I'm a big believer that we chose the way we want to age. We can sit home and take up hobbies that involve yarn or we can get involved in our communities, volunteer, join clubs, start a charity...Age is a state of mind.

BTW, Kathysue, you are ageless in my eyes because you possess both wisdom and an open mind.

Kim @ Savvy Southern Style said...

Great message, Kathysue!

Georgica Pond said...

Amen.

Splendid Sass said...

Kathysue-
I have been preaching this message forever! Such a heartwarming post!
These older friends have given so much to our society and to us. How can we forget about them, or disrespect them?
Thank you for sharing
Teresa
xoxo

5th and State said...

a lovely post as usual kathysue and most thought provoking.
it is a mindset. for example a dear friend of mine died recently at 103. she was not very well the last 4 years but one fond weekend. she brought my husband and i and two other couples; late 40's to her ranch in new mexico. she said she is sick of her "old" friends. old in years and spirit and wanted to be with youth. she took us off-roading (she drove) and out dancing and held a wonderful party. i forgot her age when i was around her, it didn't matter.
my best dear blogging friend
debra

Tote said...

Kathysue, very well said. As I have aged, I see what you mean by people looking beyond or through you. It is sad. That being said, it is all in our attitude and how we think about ourselves. Life is good!

Susan

classic • casual • home said...

BEAUTIFUL! I love the photos of the hands. I love old people...especially me :) Ha!

LiveLikeYou said...

Kathysue I loved this post!! I couldn't agree more. My mother is 76 and she is going to hike the Himalayans next month. Age is in our mind, it's NOT a number. Sadly the American society does not appreciate how much better we all become as we age!

Taylor Greenwalt said...

Kathysue, What a great post! I have felt the same way. Living in So. Calif. you really feel the pressure to enhance your looks. Over forty is taboo. My daughter did a report on the prejudice of older women. It actually starts in cartoons, portraying older women as stupid and dumb. Are media dose not help us. We all get older, its apart of life. Its very sad.

Confessions of a Plate Addict said...

Beautiful post, Kathysue! And I love your new header....SO YOU!!! Happy weekend, my sweet friend!...hugs...Debbie

Cashon&Co said...

i LOVE that last photo. it says it all. gorgeous.
having said that, the old barbie creeps me out. it kind of looks like aging gone wrong. ha!
I have always respected the elderly, with age comes wisdom, and they have seen more in their life than we ever will, having been through world wars.
having said that TOO, I wish i "felt" young. I am immature in my humor, which i suppose is young in ways, but my body feels old. I guess it's just part of having RA. blech. So I just feel like the older I feel, the younger I want to look. I am not accepting my aging gracefully. I don't know why. It's not what I expected,and not how I expected to react to getting older. But whats important to me, more than how I look, is the days when my body doesn't hurt. that is good. :)
you always brighten my day with your insight and posts.

Holly said...

Really profound Kathy Sue - we live in a town that has gone through a huge amount of change in a short amount of time and there are a lot of people who have grown up in this town and who have a lot of stories to share on what the town "used" to be like. It's really neat to be able to hear their perspective. I wish some of my relatives were still alive today to tell family stories because I'm at the point now where I really appreciate things like that. That is what life is all about. By the way, I love the new look of your blog - it's great!!

Susie @ Maddie's Nest said...

This was a moving post and a great message!

Your Southern Peach said...

Love this post and couldn't agree more that the our older generation should be cherished and called upon more often in the busy and materialistic society we live in today!

Best,

Amy

Barb @ GritsandGlamour said...

Kathysue - what a beautiful post. I especially got a chuckle out of the "aged" Barbie. I borrowed that pic to share. I have always believed that age is just a number. Now I am not saying that I won't fight age as hard as I can....but I enjoy the wisdom I have now, the patience I have learned, and the memories I have made along the way. As they say, the rest of your life starts today! Blessings my friend, Barb

marty (A Stroll Thru Life) said...

Great post. Now since I am really only 30 something, I found this really interesting and I will definitely remember to pay close attention to all the older people. lol In all seriousness, at the age of 72, I really do think I am 30 something. I so agree age is a frame of mind. BTW, I love your new header, it is so you. Perfect. Hugs, Marty

Mona Thompson Providence Ltd. said...

Lovely post...we could definitely talk about this. My husband is much older than me.Age is definitely a state of mind...yet you find yourself dealing with things you never imagined. But that is just life...that is why we live by faith.

Lauren said...

Beautiful kathysue....

Huge hug and thank u for the reminder.. My mom and I were just talking about this yesterday... She says she still feelsmlike a kid inside.
Xoxo,
Lauren

Blooming Rose Musings said...

Kathysue, I read this post a few days ago and didn't have time to leave a comment so I had to come back to it today. This is a wonderful post. For some reason our culture now seems to respect youth more than age and experience. I refuse to let that happen. We must honor those who came before us because they have so much to teach us and they have opened so many doors for us to live fuller lives.
But, having said that, I also refuse to let myself become old of mind and heart. It is important to stay open to new ideas and new technologies and never stop learning. And most important, it is important to keep an open heart.
Wonderful post, Kathysue.