I know that many of us have this dilemma in our homes if we happen to live with someone else that does not have our same design aesthetics. All she is asking for is a pretty bathroom, is that too much to ask?
Please help this reader out and give her some suggestions on what works for you ! Help!……..
Our bathroom has become a disaster ( to me), littered with my husbands sports clothing, bike helmet, shoes, clothing not put away and toiletry items scattered all over the counter. It has become so bad that I am tempted to abandon our pretty Master Bath and move my things. Any suggestions?
Thank you to all of you that participate each week with a question or by answering in the comments. If you have a question you would like to ask blog land just send an email to me at:
Goodlifeofdesign@yahoo.com
Subject: Question of the Day?
Thats a tough one, my best friend struggles with this on a daily basis but its not limited to the bathroom!
ReplyDeleteIs building a small closet a possibility, is there room for even a small nook that will be exclusively his for his things? If not if there another bathroom in the house where he can put all his 'stuff" to keep the master from being uncluttered. Make sure there are plenty of hooks in the bathroom, its better to see things hanging up then on the floor! I would say its all about storage, whether it be bringing in a bench that lifts up and you can store all his things inside or building a small closet, sounds like he is missing places to store his stuff. OR can he "take over" another bathroom in the house?
Last, if it gets really bad, get him an outhouse..that will teach him! :)
GOOD QUESTION! Do you have another bathroom where YOU can make your own statement? If so.....GO THERE and let HIM clean up the mess and if he lets it go, let it get worst. Teach him to keep it neat by making him live in it!!!! It works with fourth graders....don't know about husbands since mine is extremely considerate and neat!!
ReplyDeleteDearest KS, thank you for your kind and clear feedback. There is much to learn about writing, but it is fun being in the process. I guess FUN and LOVE for what you do has to accompany the hard work.
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND! Anita
Probably doesn't want to hear my advice. Maybe she should move him to the children's bathroom or build a NEW bath for herself.
ReplyDeleteHope that you have a great weekend planned.
Teresa
xoxo
For my one and only, if there's an "easy" place to put something, he will -- countertops, floor, corners. But if I provide shelves or baskets that are both accessible, roomy and easy to use, he will use them. And if I research the best product for the best money,he's even more on board. It's important to really observe his habits so that you match the product to how he operates. My husband likes to lay his electric toothbrush on the counter so I got a tray for inside the first drawer of the cabinet. He just plops that toothbrush in there. Easy. The final touch -- I buy the products and put them together. Then, I show him what I've accomplished; I don't ask him to put his shaving supplies here; I say, this is where your shaving supplies go, this is where my make-up goes, etc. The container store could be your new best friend! don't expect him to keep his trays or baskets neat; it's enough that he is using them and if they are out of sight, in a drawer, be happy. Some things, however, are not worth the energy -- such as, my husband never ever changes out his washcloth in the shower. It would be used and hung on the rod for a year, if I didn't grab it every time I do a load of towels. I don't think I've ever seen him put a towel in the hamper for that matter in 44 years! My mother in law, on my wedding day, took me aside and said, "you are going to hate me. He doesn't do a thing for himself." WHAT???!!!! She did wait on him, hand and foot (we did not raise our sons similarly, just so you know!). Well, he's learned a lot and a rancid washcloth in the shower, now and then, I can deal with and I still love my m-i-l!
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one. I am still trying to train my husband of 37 years to put things away. I just stop picking up after him and put the stuff where he has to sit or sleep so he notices. He if finally getting the picture.
ReplyDeleteThrow all his stuff on his side of the bed everyday so he has to put it away if he wants to sleep in bed.
Susan
This is a tough one. Between children and husbands I have learned to close my eyes. I try to focus on the important things in life so I dont go crazy about it. Pick your battles. I think I am with splendid sass, move him in to the children's bath or build him a new one. Even if you put baskets down they wont use them! sorry... wish I had better advise!
ReplyDeleteI've been married almost 39 years and in my humble opinion, the solution depends on how long you've been married and how much effort you want to put in to training (or re-training) him.
ReplyDeleteLeft to their own devices, I think most men are just downright oblivious to this kind of thing so if you haven't been married long, you might try training him. The first step would be to sit down with him and tell him how much it bothers you that he leaves these messes. You might also mention how much more difficult and time-consuming it is for you to clean and sanitize the bathroom when his stuff is strewn about everywhere. It's hard to effectively clean the sink area when the countertop is covered with toiletries. It's impossible to mop if the floor is littered with clothes.
As several before me said, I would provide as much hidden storage as you can for him...laundry hamper, drawers, cabinets with doors, baskets etc. and ask him to use them. It really doesn't take any more time or effort for him to drop his clothes into a conveniently located hamper instead of on the floor.
Again, hidden storage is key, but it must be convenient for them to use! My hubby is a paper and receipt keeper and it all ended up on top of his dresser in a mess. Ugh. Not only did it look unsightly, I refused to move all those pieces of paper every time I went to dust so finally I got a pretty wicker basket with a lid to put on top of his dresser and asked him to throw his papers and receipts in there, which he now does. Problem solved. I also put a divided tray on his dresser for stuff he takes out of his pants pockets at the end of the day and that helped corral that mess.
I know this comment is really looong but I want to give another example of how convenience matters when you are dealing with men. There was a chair in the bedroom (on the opposite side of the room from the closet) my hubby would sit in to put on/take off his shoes, and he left his shoes sitting around the chair rather than carrying them across the room to the closet. I didn't say a thing to him but I was curious to see what would happen if I moved the chair over next to the closet. As soon as the chair was sitting next to the closet, he automatically started putting his shoes in the closet when he took them off!
If your husband's behavior is a long-standing habit, or you've tried to re-train him before without success, I wouldn't nag and I certainly wouldn't pick up after him. I'd just move to another bathroom, if you have that option, and avoid the master bathroom so you don't have to look at it.
Good luck!
Men appear to be the same and I think they are just blind to what we see. . My husband will hang his jacket on the door of the closet..not quite sure why he doesnt take two steps inside and hang it. Same with dishes, glasses in the sink right next to the dishwasher! And we always joke that if you stand still too long he will hang or stack something on you. But we have been married 25 years and I just learned it was easier to hang the jacket myself than complain to him since it is in his DNA.
ReplyDeleteMy advice...if he is worth it (and only you know that) just live with it.
I have been married for 43 years and have to say, I would try to get HIM to move to another bathroom, not you! If that is not possible, then the suggestion of getting storage supplies for him and showing him where things should go. I LOVE the idea of putting his stuff on his side of the bed:):) That is a riot!!!! Might just work! XO, Pinky
ReplyDeleteOh, that's a tough one. It's hard, maybe even impossible, to change someone's habits. The other comments are terrific, and i don't have anything to add, but I wish you luck!
ReplyDeleteStacy
I would ask him to move to another bathroom. The person who can't keep things orderly is the person who should move. I'm a strong believer in separate bathrooms and closets if at all possible. Our homes should be sanctuaries as much as they can, not stress elements. But as women we so often aim to please we forget to look out for ourselves and take and create the space we need and deserve!
ReplyDeleteThis comment was sent via email to me from a reader:
ReplyDeleteI've been successful reminding my husband and kids that leaving their things about is disrespectful - leaving things lying around is basically leaving them for ME to pick up - which isn't very kind. That line of reasoning worked well in my family!
As for your own toiletries - if you get some great organizers in the drawers and weed out the old junk - it's less daunting to keep it in check. We women have SO many items we don't use. Toss anything you can't remember when you bought it - chances are it's expired anyway. I just had my makeup done professionally (a splurge) to find great colors for "everyday" use - I went to Mac. I pitched all the things that don't match my coloring so it's easy to organize few products.
Primary Girl
Firstly that's my sisters bathroom in the photo you posted ! Isn't is heavenly ! Secondly I am sitting in the Gordon Ramsay bar in the London hotel on w54th st in new york by myself having a drink and dinner having just arrived and feeling exhausted but excited. I am lucky re bathrooms as my husband is very neat and organized so he often picks up aftercme. I'd either move his stuff to another bathroom get lots of baskets and hampers for all his stuff.
ReplyDeleteIs this her bathroom? Hubby keeps all of his things under his side of the cabinet. Ugh. His Mother needs to a talking to for not raising him to pick up his shi*! ha ha! xoxo
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could move him into another bath and have your things neatly organized in the master...how great would that be!!
ReplyDeleteWe would have to have a serious talk! Ha.Not much more I can add to what has already been said. I can't stand clutter so I'm actually serious about that talk.
ReplyDelete